Tuesday 18 March 2008

THE YANKEE ROYAL FAMILY

Political families have dominated the Global arena from time immemorial, but none more so than the Clinton duo of Bill and his wife Hillary, who wielded much influence, power and indeed attraction, not only when Bill was the President of the United States of America from 1992 to 2000, but upon his retirement, the dynasty was continued when Hillary was elected to the US legislature, as the senator for New York, and in the year 2008, is vigorously campaigning to be selected as the Democratic Party nominee for the Presidential election to be held this year.


Such events require incredible planning, funding and a significant degree of cunning. We can only assume that the family were students of the Chinese Emperors, some of whom managed to extend the life of their dynasties for many centuries. Legislation in the US and most other countries will not permit this in the post modern era.



So what was the Clintons secret? What was their "key to success". Like any good organisation, they capitalized and built on their strengths, identified and dealt to their weaknesses. It was universally believed that Bill's wandering eyes, roving hands and lustful indulgences such as his dalliance with Monica Lewinsky would sooner if not later lead to his downfall, as indeed almost happened when the Senate impeached him. Lucky for him on that occasion, that the prosecuting attorney appointed the Justice department turned out to be a bigger jack-the-lad than Billy-the-kid.



But the Clintons also had a plan. A super master plan if you will, and they needed one, because what very few people knew, was that the weakness in their situation was not Bill, it was Hillary herself. She was a dyed in the wool, very happy to stay in the closet, muff diver. Yes folks, she is a born again, ever so happy Lesbian. Bill had always been aware of his wife's sexual preferences, but theirs was very much a marriage of political convenience, an alliance whose destiny would never be influenced or jeopardized by what they considered to be, when viewed in the context of did or did not matter in the greater scheme of things. That was the possession of and future control of power in the greatest nation and strongest economy in the twenty first century.



The plan was simple. Discretion was to be the key to achieving all of their goals, and thereby retaining what they considered to be their rightful place in History. Under no circumstance was Hillary allowed to misbehave in public, and Bill, as most other Global leaders have indulged, it was accepted that he would stray. The Chinese emperors of old, not only had unlimited access to mistresses - fondly referred to as concubines - , but their wives very industriously helped in selecting who was, and who was not suitable for the bonking chamber. Jack - the - lad Kennedy had enormous difficulty in keeping his in his pants, so it was no big deal if Billy - the - kid strayed, and indulged in a little bit on the side. Yes, Monica almost led to his downfall, and mainly because she was too young and could not keep a zip on the lip. The next Bill, try an older women, whom as a collective group are invariably; much more grateful, don't tell or swell.



So Hillary was a closet dyke, who had no interest what ever in coming out of the closet. No she wanted her cake and be able to eat it too. Well that is what pussy pashing ladies do, is it not.

Her story is really very similar to most other women of similar inclinations. The product of a white anglo-saxon protestant family, she was at the first opportunity, dispatched to a prestigious ivy league female boarding school, where as we all know, it is compulsory for the girls to initiate each other in the delights of discovering the essential differences between boys and girls, and also exploring the forbidden fruits that lie hidden in each others bodies.


There was an extremely interesting rumour circulating through the gossipy trollopes who, with very little else to do but speculate and invent trash, and have no interest what so ever in establishing whether or not there is any truth in what ever crap they exchange with each other, that the leader of a South Pacific Nation had made an impassioned plea to be accepted into this group, but her application was rejected on the very simple basis that by any line of reasoning or determination, she was too very, very ugly., and no insult intended. Now girls will be girls, and others can please bugger off.



Saturday 8 March 2008

All over down under

Another dawn, another day, and it must be the week-end, because yesterday was that beaut called TGIF. So what to do, how to start the day. Get the ablutions out of the way, make a cuppa, and then you read the paper, which if you live in Auckland as we do, is the New Zealand Herald. It doesn't take long to beat your way through the proliferation of the ads which dominate and cover a huge percentage of each and every page in all the sections, which on a Saturday's edition are quite massive ( if not a small forest, then a big little wood to print that lot). So there it is. The editorial, the only thing worth reading on most days, if only to re-enforce the absolute belief, that this town is populated by some really strange people whose collectives I Q's must continuously bring tears to the eyes of our southern neighbours, not to mention those living across the ditch. You can just visualise their quite thoughts as they smugly muse " Thank Christ we don't live there".
Yes the editorial. Most definitely written today (okay, last evening), by a sub-Ed, because for all of its faults, Nanny Herald does indeed have a not-too-bad-editor, but the bozo who gave the the letter titled "In time we will be proud of our rail service". the prime spot featured at the top of the page, truly needs putting down and taken out of his misery. Mate, not now, not in the near or distant future, not ever will this town have a decent or even halve decent rail system. Why? Because for a start this is the most anti-progression place in the world. It is populated by the highest percentage of NIMBY than other place on earth.
One has only to look at the largest motorway extension, currently underway in Auckland City at the moment. The Hillsborough to Sandringham road sector of the western ring route which started construction when ground was broken more that four years ago, and is not due for completion for another two years. Six years to lay four kilometres of roading is a joke, yet that is Auckland, so to expect to ever have a rail service which will extend across the region, and provide adequate service as have always existed in Wellington, exists only in the realms of cloud cuckoo land.
Finally, the Blues lost again. Ever since Carlos started the trend with the hair colouring trick, -thinking maybe that he could lull the opposition into some form of identity confusion, most of those rugger chaps brains have been fried by all that peroxide. Take a look at the antics of Jerry the gorilla from the windy city if you need convincing, or at the inability of the ABs to work out that a drop kick was on when they were parked in front of the French goals posts in the dying moments of that fateful game in Cardiff last October, and needing just one score, any score, to avoid defeat. Their grey matter had been dissolved by all those chemicals, and we lost. No, not them us. The poor punters who faithfully, year after year, World cup after World cup, have like devoted or deluded pups, have supported them.You think I'm kidding. I bet cha' a pint of Guinness on St.Paddy's day next Friday, that I am not.

Moving on.